I told myself everything would be okay. It's amazing that I am always right. That is why everyone should always do as I say when I say to do it. It's great advice.
What is it that everyone is so desperately searching for in their life and how do they know when they've got it? I think even once you have the career, house, suv, and perfectly cute little family on the outside that something always gets lost inside still, so I don't think I want that.
I think that it is important to always be having new experiences. If I ever feel a little bit bored I gotta get up and move. I should take a class of some sort, pottery? crochet? cooking? Money spent on things like that will be well worth it. I want to keep my daughter moving too. We cant sit still.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
my summary
I am going to earn myself the education of a bachelor of arts in Social and Criminal Justice with a specialization in corrections management degree because I cannot continue coasting in and out of retail stupor for the rest of my life. I would never be fullfilled as just another person in society working for a corporation that indirectly effects the function of that society.I have seen with my own eyes the problems it faces and I directly want a position that makes me feel responsible for positively influencing my society. I have been overwhelmed with a drive to get myself out of the current position of a single-below poverty level- mother. I have been sinking for quite awhile and now it is time to come up for some air.
In life, society expects you to do things in a particular order: Get the education, the experience, and then the job. If you're lucky you're still young enough to have a family after all is said and done. I guess maybe I tried to do it in that order once, but somewhere I slipped off the tracks. The past few years being stuck in the mud I have had many experiences while the tires have been spinning. I have finally been pulled out of it and have decided to take the incompleted steps in the typical plan for life and get the education and career that my family deserves and experiences have earned.
I dropped out of art school in Philadelphia, to return back home to Erie after only a mere six months. A lot of debt is not the only thing I can say I got out of that experience because I learned how to interact with strangers and get around a much larger, scarier city. I remember a chatty lady on a train commenting on the fact that there had been over 365 murders by guns so far and the year still had another month left to it.
The bills started to mount and I began working at a department store where I previously worked at before I left for Philadelphia. I became involved with a man whom I had been friends with for awhile and it became a serious relationship. We were together for a year before our relationship diminished and I became pregant with our daughter.
At that same time, I had recieved a promotion at my job where I could just skim by, affording to have my own apartment to raise my daughter in, all by myself. I tried to be successful at being a single mother by doing it all on my own financially and emotionally. My personal well being was suffering as depression overcame me and my pride began to hurt. The only comfort and joy was only found in my daughter's eyes. I worked fulltime on a unset schedule to be yelled at by customers about their minute problems of the store being out of stock of some unnecessary product they desired.
I moved to a larger place. The old fashionedness and pear tree in the back yard of the house made the bad neighborhood worth it. Slowly I realized my terrible mistake as three of the five houses across the street got boarded up, a man stabbed his daughters exboyfriend, a house burned down on the corner then someone's garage, a woman was assulted in her car at stop sign further up the road and next door a seventy-two year old man got beat up. Also a freezing to death prostitute climbed in my boyfriends car trying to solicit.
After having my wisdom teeth torn out the need for hydro codone refills soothed the achey heart of a mother in and out of court for paternity, support, and custody issues. In addition to the friendly careless high from marijuana, Prozac added to the illusion of my invincibility and my devious criminalistic mind began to plot ways to recycle the goods that would be thrown into a trash compactor anyway. I guess it is still considered a form of retail theft and they had to let me go despite the fact that I was a pretty hard worker compared to some.
I have had a month of what I am going to consider a personal rehabilitation. God has given me the freedom to choose to do something good for my daughter and myself. With a little bit of faith and determination I can succeed and get myself to where were are supposed to be in the world. I have poured all of the venmon out of my life and I just need to get where an education can get me, out of here.
In the next five years, I see myself completing my education and having a career rehabiliting people who have dug themselves a whole deeper than mine. No matter how deep it is, I am certain I have the strength to help them pull themselves out. Also like a superhero, I want to help protect people from the villians that I have seen the streets create.During this time period I will continue finding ways to be an excellent mother and play an active role in my community expanding my horizons and opening up myself new positive opportunities.
In life, society expects you to do things in a particular order: Get the education, the experience, and then the job. If you're lucky you're still young enough to have a family after all is said and done. I guess maybe I tried to do it in that order once, but somewhere I slipped off the tracks. The past few years being stuck in the mud I have had many experiences while the tires have been spinning. I have finally been pulled out of it and have decided to take the incompleted steps in the typical plan for life and get the education and career that my family deserves and experiences have earned.
I dropped out of art school in Philadelphia, to return back home to Erie after only a mere six months. A lot of debt is not the only thing I can say I got out of that experience because I learned how to interact with strangers and get around a much larger, scarier city. I remember a chatty lady on a train commenting on the fact that there had been over 365 murders by guns so far and the year still had another month left to it.
The bills started to mount and I began working at a department store where I previously worked at before I left for Philadelphia. I became involved with a man whom I had been friends with for awhile and it became a serious relationship. We were together for a year before our relationship diminished and I became pregant with our daughter.
At that same time, I had recieved a promotion at my job where I could just skim by, affording to have my own apartment to raise my daughter in, all by myself. I tried to be successful at being a single mother by doing it all on my own financially and emotionally. My personal well being was suffering as depression overcame me and my pride began to hurt. The only comfort and joy was only found in my daughter's eyes. I worked fulltime on a unset schedule to be yelled at by customers about their minute problems of the store being out of stock of some unnecessary product they desired.
I moved to a larger place. The old fashionedness and pear tree in the back yard of the house made the bad neighborhood worth it. Slowly I realized my terrible mistake as three of the five houses across the street got boarded up, a man stabbed his daughters exboyfriend, a house burned down on the corner then someone's garage, a woman was assulted in her car at stop sign further up the road and next door a seventy-two year old man got beat up. Also a freezing to death prostitute climbed in my boyfriends car trying to solicit.
After having my wisdom teeth torn out the need for hydro codone refills soothed the achey heart of a mother in and out of court for paternity, support, and custody issues. In addition to the friendly careless high from marijuana, Prozac added to the illusion of my invincibility and my devious criminalistic mind began to plot ways to recycle the goods that would be thrown into a trash compactor anyway. I guess it is still considered a form of retail theft and they had to let me go despite the fact that I was a pretty hard worker compared to some.
I have had a month of what I am going to consider a personal rehabilitation. God has given me the freedom to choose to do something good for my daughter and myself. With a little bit of faith and determination I can succeed and get myself to where were are supposed to be in the world. I have poured all of the venmon out of my life and I just need to get where an education can get me, out of here.
In the next five years, I see myself completing my education and having a career rehabiliting people who have dug themselves a whole deeper than mine. No matter how deep it is, I am certain I have the strength to help them pull themselves out. Also like a superhero, I want to help protect people from the villians that I have seen the streets create.During this time period I will continue finding ways to be an excellent mother and play an active role in my community expanding my horizons and opening up myself new positive opportunities.
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